Marriage Sites. I think they’re kinda ridiculous, but how else are you supposed to meet people these days? If you wear a hijab, no one’s really going to approach you, are they? Especially if they’re practicing Muslims. Let me tell you why I think the sites are ridiculous.
First of all, if someone doesn’t have a picture you have to ask them for it and it always feel so bad and wrong to reject people based on their looks. There’s one site that doesn’t show you pictures at all. I hadn’t had anyone say anything after getting rejected…until recently. It’s not like I enjoy doing it. The guy was so offended by it and sent a message that was really immature to be honest, he was basically asking whether it was because his face was not good enough because I didn’t even bother to get to know him etc. It made me feel like he was questioning my character. I was angry for a second because he’s the one who sent me the photo request in the first place, doesn’t that mean he wanted to see whether he was attracted to the person in the first place? I don’t understand why he would judge me for rejecting him when it’s quite obvious you need to be attracted to the person in the first place. It’s actually quite funny why I refused him. The reason was that he reminded me of my brother when he was younger! No lie. I showed my mum and my eldest brother his pictures and they agreed too! Can you imagine how weird that is? I wanted to tell the guy that but thought it would sound weird so I didn’t, however, because he sent that message I ended up having to tell him anyway.
I’ve been told looks aren’t important, they fade, the persons character makes you see them better. I agree with all of that. I’m not that silly. I swear. But if you don’t even see a slight initial attraction, how can you move forward? I’m just going to come out and say it. Looks are important to me. It’s important to some women, and most men, but when men say it, it’s fine. If a women says it all hell breaks loose. Why? We’re all people and we all have preferences. We all compromise in our own way. I’m not not expecting someone like Zac Efron or Mathew Daddario to show up. I did try to compromise once with someone’s looks and I felt really bad about it because I thought it shouldn’t be that hard. I shouldn’t be forcing myself to find reasons to like him just to compensate for his looks. I felt bad that I kept thinking that I didn’t like how he looked. I didn’t think it was fair on me or him! So, I’m not going to do that.
The other reason I don’t like these websites is because I think people, me included I guess, think there’s way more people out there, so if someone’s written something you don’t like you don’t bother giving them a chance. It might a big thing but by talking about it you might come to some sort of solution, but you wouldn’t know because it feels like everyone is looking for this perfect person, so you wouldn’t even bother talking or bringing it up incase they cross you out. They probably think there’s someone out there that will have everything on their checklist. This bring me to my next point, people on these websites seem a lot more judgmental and close minded, and I think that’s due to the nature of the websites. You have to be serious and interview like, and go through a checklist you’ve created. Although it’s good to know what you wouldn’t compromise on, it’s also blocking you from meeting people and getting to know them. And you’re not willing to compromise on things that can be compromised on even though the person might be right for you. I’m sure I’m a victim of these things too because that’s just how it is out there. I find myself picking out things I don’t like about everyone.That’s why meeting people in real life if probably better. But hard when you have social anxiety out of all things.
I’ve also run out of patience which is not good, I know, especially when you’re speaking to people you’ve never spoken to before. But my approach now is going straight to point with questions and what I want because otherwise it’s like I’m going around in circles and ending up in the same place. To be honest though, I haven’t had replies since I started the approach so it might not be working. Yeah, I’m probably scaring people off. Although, if you look at it my way that I’m a blunt person so if they cant handle it then it’s good, right? Those are probably the wrong people for me anyway. Or is this why I’m going to die alone forever.
Lol the gif is so funny
So you see, I find it all so ridiculous. I haven’t even got the the people you can’t tell whether they’re legit or not. Some can’t speak English and send you a photo request. Why? We can’t even properly communicate. You know what I mean? It’s already hard trusting random people on the internet. I’m not about to trust someone I can’t even speak to. The internet is a weird place with weird people. I might still be stuck in those days when the internet used to be chat rooms and a bunch of creeps used to show up. Remember those days? I have so many stories from those good ol’ days. I do have internet trust issues imbedded in me from things that happened to friends and my brother telling me to get off the chat sites. I always go off on tangents, so anyway, those are my current opinions on the marriage sites.
If you’ve been on the sites let me know what you think.
I’ll keep you updated.